Confessions of a Mombie

I used to always swear that when I had children, I would not become one of those mothers whose lives revolved around their child. I hated it when at parties or luncheons a woman would only speak about her little Johnny's latest and greatest. I hated getting together with friends who were also mommy's and have the entire visit be occupied by how junior was walking, junior was counting to three and how junior said the cutest thing the other day.

I swore I wouldn't be a mommy zombie (a.k.a. "mombie).

Then I held little man in my arms for the first time.

I became that which I swore I would not.

I suddenly had a kinship with my old friends who I had dubbed mombies. I now understood. However, I then saw my friends who did not have children slip away.

I do try to not be preoccupied with all things little man when out with a friend who isn't a mommy. I remember those days. I remind myself that my dear, dear friend won't be nearly as excited to hear that little man is out of diapers for good, no matter how exciting that news is to me and my fellow mombies.

However, I've also found that when I try not to speak of all things little man ... I find myself silent. My family is my world. Sure, I am living my dream as a professional (and paid) writer and I work in an interesting industry ... but that isn't my life. My husband, my son ... that's where my heart is.

My confessions:

• I still check in on little man during the night. I will not leave until I confirm he is still breathing.
• My office door is covered in little man artwork and I have 14 photos of him throughout my office.
• His first word was "buttons" and I am convinced that makes him a genius.
• I am still surprised that he has blond hair.
• I know I should let him walk. But I want to carry him.
• I never get used to feeling his arms around my neck as he hugs me.
• I tell him "I love you" no less than 100 times a day. I can't help it.
• The first time little man and I were alone together in the hospital I held him on my lap and swore to him that I would give him the most magical childhood and that he would grow up knowing just how loved he is. Not a day goes by that I don't remember making him that promise.

So, here I am admitting to the world that I am, indeed, a mombie. While I once envisioned a Pulitzer on my desk, I now envision a 15th photo of little man. I can definitely say that my quiet life with my family is more fulfilling than any headline, any scoop or any Editor in Chief title I've ever had.

And that makes me smile.

Desiree, Mombie in Chief